Below you will find answers to common flower girl questions. This flower girl FAQ mainly deals with issues that couples have in regards to their flower girl. I hope that these FAQ will help to answer some of the questions you may have in regards to your flower girl.
Is three too young for a flower girl?
This depends entirely upon the maturity level of the three year old. Children of any age have different personalities and maturity levels. A shy flower girl may get scared, and refuse to walk down the aisle when she sees how many people are at the wedding. A very active child may run up and down the aisle. While children with these traits (and others) can still be asked, you will need to realize that anything can…and probably will…happen.
My sister has two girls. Who do I choose?
This is a fairly common question, and having two flower girls is the most common way of dealing with the issue. Why not consider allowing them both to be flower girls. They can walk down the aisle arm in arm, and can both toss petals from one basket that they both hold. Or, they can walk down one after another.
Is twelve too old for a flower girl?
Consider asking her if she would prefer being a flower girl or a junior bridesmaid. Twelve is generally considered to be too old to be a flower girl, but it depends on the girl. If she thinks it would be great to be a flower girl, you have your answer. If she thinks that being a flower girl is “too baby-ish”, then consider asking her to do something else. The age of a flower girl always depends upon the child’s maturity level. At this age, asking her whether she would enjoy being a flower girl would be the best course of action as she’s definitely old enough to have an opinion on the matter.
How can I save money on a Flower Girl’s Dress?
To save money visit your local department store. The two best times of year to do this are around Christmas and Easter. During both of these holidays, department stores stock formal dresses for little girls. Be sure to bring your flower girl with you for fit, but if your wedding is a few months away…buy the dress one size larger. Kid’s grow quickly. If your wedding is more than six months away, consider waiting to purchase the flower girl dress until a few months before the wedding. This will ensure the best fit if you choose to buy the dress at a department store.
Role For Children In Weddings
Here are a few roles that can be given to children in your wedding. I have included age guidelines as well as a short description of the role. The ages are only guidelines, and the maturity and personality of the child is the utmost factor in your decision. Please note that there are other roles for children and I have included only the most popular here.
Flower Girl (ages 4 to 8) – The flower girl tosses petals on the aisle before the bride walks down it. You can have as many flower girls as you would like.
Gift Attendant (ages 12 and up) – A gift attendant is responsible for the gift table. He or she watches the table during the reception to insure that gifts remain on the table. After the reception, he or she helps to load the car with gifts. This is a simple role that is great for the responsible child.
Guest Book Attendant (ages 14 and up) – The guest book attendant’s job is to get people to sign the guest book. He or she should be in a location where this is feasible, and should ask each person that enters to sign the guest book. This is not a role for a shy child, but should be reserved for someone who is friendly. Instruct this attendant to ask each guest to “please sign the guestbook” or “will you sign the guestbook” for best results.
Junior Attendant (ages 8 to 14) – This is the perfect title for a young girl in the groom’s wedding party or a young boy in the bride’s wedding party. See junior bridesmaid and junior groomsman usher for role description.
Junior Bridesmaid (ages 8 to 14) – This role is reserved for girls who are too old to be a flower girl and too young to be a bridesmaid. In most cases, her only duty is to come to the rehearsal and to walk down the aisle. Some couples do include junior bridesmaids in other festivities such as showers (but no bachelorette parties). Older girls can be regular bridesmaids.
Junior Usher/Groomsman (ages 8 to 14) – This role is reserved for boys who are too old to be a ring bearer and too young to be a groomsman/usher. As a junior groomsman, his duties include going to the rehearsal and walking down the aisle. As a junior usher, he helps to seat wedding guests. A junior groomsman/usher can’t attend bachelor parties, but can be invited to showers (co-ed, groom) if the couple wishes. Older boys can be regular ushers or groomsmen.
Personal Attendant (ages 14 and up) – The personal attendant is expected to help with the preparations before the ceremony and/or reception. The role varies, but this person (boy or girl) is a “wedding helper” and helps the bride or groom where needed. He or she can also be called a Bride’s Attendant or Groom’s Attendant.
Ring Bearer (ages 4 to 8) – The ring bearer has the responsibility of carrying the ring/s down the aisle. You may have two ring bearers if desired.
Tips To Having Children In Your Wedding
1. You should certainly ask the child in person. Run it by the parent/s first and get their permission. Unless it is impossible though, a child should be asked whether he or she wants to be in your wedding. Some don’t enjoy the idea, while others will embrace it.
2. Spend some time with the child before the rehearsal and wedding. Not only can you explain the role and answer any questions the child has, but you make the child feel like he or she is actually participating in the wedding.
3. Keep the child up to date. This is especially true for older children. You can mention such things as plans for their attire, what kind of shoes they get to wear, accessories and so on. Many of these suggestions have the same goal. The child should feel as if he or she is a part of the wedding rather than a prop in the wedding.
4. Make sure the child is invited to the rehearsal. Make every effort to insure he or she attends the rehearsal. Rehearsals are even more important for children than adults. As the wedding draws nearer, the older ones worry about “screwing up”, while the younger ones get increasingly nervous about their role. If this is their first wedding, it can be incredibly nerve-wracking for them. The rehearsal helps to allay their fears and gives you and opportunity to tell them they are doing a good job. Both will help with this.
5. If possible, be sure to invite the children to other festivities as well. This goes back to spending some time with them. Whether you go shopping for attire with them or invite them to a (if it’s before bedtime or early) rehearsal dinner, they can further feel as if they are a part of the wedding.
6. Consider making or purchasing a gift to commemorate the wedding. My oldest daughter’s favorite wedding items are her flower baskets. They help her to remember details of the weddings she has been a part of. She can tell you exactly how she tossed the petals from each basket, whose wedding the basket came from, how her attire matched and can show them off to her friends. Obviously, weddings can be important memories for children.
7. Seat the parent/s of the child in the front row. If you plan on having the child stand with you during the entire ceremony, this is a necessity. She or he may get restless or may tug on the bride’s dress and ask, “Are we done yet?” (an actual example by the way). Having the parent nearby gives the child an option to sit down. If your ceremony will be long, have the child walk down the aisle, then immediately sit with their parent/s in the first row. Pre-teens and above are the only exception in this case. Children younger than that will usually become quite impatient with long ceremonies.
8. Consider having someone walk the child down the aisle. This can be a parent or a bridesmaid. This works especially well for younger children as walking down the aisle can seem scary for some of them.
9. Assign someone to help assure everything goes smoothly during the ceremony. You don’t want the ring-bearer to wander off or the flower girl to start crying loudly right before the wedding march. Having someone who is willing to watch over the children (especially if they are younger) and entertain them can help minimize your chances of scenarios like this. Children like to be paid attention to, and even someone who reminds them of their duties will help. If possible, a parent of one (or more) child in the wedding can take on this role.
10. Have a “goodie bag” at the reception for the children in the wedding and those attending the wedding. This can be as simple as a coloring book and small box of crayons. This will give the kids something to do and will help in their behavior because they will occupied with the goodies.